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Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Last Updated: 26.06.2025 06:31

Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What does it mean when someone is pretending to be me?

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

What is a common thought that keeps people up at night? Why do some people experience this?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

How conservative the Japanese people really is? And the government?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

It seems that I am cursed with bad luck. How do I break such a curse?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I can count

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for fakery

Who are the most underrated and under-appreciated Hollywood actors/actresses?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

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I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do men prefer women below the age of 30?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I see through liars

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy bullshit